Homelife and Household
The do’s and don’ts in Indo-Fijian culture.
The following information will hopefully put you in a good place to be as respectful as you can be when it comes to interaction within a communal setting. Rules may be slightly different in an Indo-Fijian household compared to an indigenous Fijian household so keep your eyes out for the nuances and why they might exist.
Today the trend is towards nuclear-family households but in many areas, both urban and rural, the joint-family household persists. Financial and domestic arrangements may differ from home to home, but families may consist of parents, grandparents and both married and unmarried siblings residing under the same roof. Sons are given a freer rein than daughters, who are traditionally kept under very strict supervision.
A Brief Guide…
Patriarchal ideology – Although the roles of women are developing, men still dominate the home. Sometimes in Indo-Fijian households, you won’t see the woman, until she comes to serve tea and snacks.
Homes are usually multi-generational – Many Indo-Fijian homes will be multi-generational. Elders are offered a deep respect and are usually a priority.
Refer to older men as ‘Uncle’ older women known as ‘Auntie’ as respect – This may only be relevant with familiar households. At times, JI (eg: Mummaji) is also added to the end of names as a form of respect. Again, this may only apply to familiar households. Depending on how much older they look in relation to their parents (grandma/grandpa etc.). Nana/nani… indigenous Fijians will also use these same terms to anyone of Indian descent out of respect.
Men usually eat before the women and sometimes separately – Genders will be separated to eat in some homes. Or, men will eat first and women wait to eat afterwards. As guests you are sometimes invited to eat first.
Remove shoes before entering properties – This is the same as Fijian properties. It shows respect. In Indian culture, the ground is seen as very dirty. It is common to not put bags and the like on the floor as well. Leave shoes outside.
Enter from the front door – Announce your arrival at the edge of the property and wait for someone to come and welcome you. You will then be led to the front door, where you should leave your shoes. Allow the owner to go first and to invite you in.
Accept offerings – It is seen as incredibly disrespectful to refuse offerings. These may come in the form of tea and sweets, or even full meals. Regardless of explaining how full you are, it is very hard to refuse offerings!
Some do’s and don’ts of being in a household. These are some very strict examples, you will never be judged on this as a guest and any knowledge around any of these points will be greeted with appreciation! But if you’re really keen to impress, click ‘do’ or ‘do not’ below to see some good examples of things to be aware of…
- Women, cover your head in a Muslim house
This is not something that will be frowned upon if it doesn’t happen, but if in doubt, cover your head and then follow the lead of the women in the home. This may also be in place in other tourist destinations (eg: places of worship). (Not necessarily, mostly generational). Religious functions for certain.
- Remove shoes when entering a home
This is the same in Fijian homes. Leave your shoes outside, they’ll be safe!
- Enter through the front door
In Fijian households, it’s tradition to enter through the side door. In Indo-Fijian households, enter through the front door with the host taking the lead.
- Accept all offerings
It’s considered rude to not accept offerings in Indo-Fijian households. Your hosts will most likely see you as a very special guest and will want to offer you drinks and food. Accept the offerings and politely (try) to explain when you are full!
- Wear modest clothing
In traditional Fijian communities, you are expected to cover your shoulders and legs. In Indo-Fijian homes this is a good rule to follow. Women should dress modestly, covering shoulders, legs and arms (depending on how traditional the household is). If in doubt, take items to layer up with. Attire in general has religious significance, but it has become more homogenous to Indo-Fijians… eg. muslim women wearing the sari.
- Speak softly
Loud voices are seen as aggressive, so speak softly so as not to come across as angry.
- Shake hands with women
In all Indo-Fijian households, it is sometimes considered rude to make physical contact with women. Take the lead from them, as some households may not be as traditional. This mainly applies for the home setting, it is absolutely fine in professional settings. And again, this would not be frowned upon if it was done by foreigners or guests of another cultural tradition.
- Face your feet towards people or step over people
You will most likely be invited to sit on the floor. Keep feet covered if you must stretch your legs out and make sure not to step over people.
- Enter properties without permission
This is kind of an obvious one! Even if you have been invited and you think your hosts know you are coming, announce yourself. and wait to be invited in.
- Use your left hand when eating or passing
Indo-Fijian’s consider the left hand as the dirty hand, so avoid using it when interacting with others and while eating. You will most likely eat with your hands. Place your left hand on your knee to avoid using it.
- Don’t be offended by intrusive questions!
It is a funny quality of the culture to unashamedly ask questions that we may feel are intrusive, however they are perfectly acceptable in their social standards. Elements such like family life, marriage and children are still seen as a huge priority in these communities, so don’t be offended by questions that seem intrusive. They are not being rude, just interested! There is no personal space in a household, it’s just the way it is!